


Memories are safer

by snowbaek



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Closeted Character, Coming Out, Drabble, Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 11:27:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20208973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowbaek/pseuds/snowbaek
Summary: Hyunjin is Seungmin's safe place but nobody is supposed to know that. Instead of telling his family about his stomach full of butterflies, he has to hide his relationship und ultimately his true self. But hiding never works forever and when he comes home one day he can tell that something's off. Maybe his memory would have kept his secret better than his polaroids.





	Memories are safer

**Author's Note:**

> Small warning:  
These are not my own characters. I took them out of one of my favourite works, that has now been deleted, and wrote my little take on the coming out of the main character. I don't want to disclose the author's or the work's name since I can't make sure that the author is comfortable with it.  
I hope nobody minds and am deeply sorry if I offend anyone.
> 
> Don't forget that this drabble contains homophobia, so please stay safe kids.

Coming home, Seungmin could see that the light in his room was switched on. Instead of giving him a feeling of home, he felt like the flickering lights seemed more… threatening. When he noticed, that nobody was waiting for him in the kitchen, even though it was time for dinner, he definitely felt that something was off. Seungmin began to climb his stairs, his legs feeling heavier and heavier the more steps he took. When he arrived upstairs, he could tell that his Dad sat on his bed. Fear started to boil inside his stomach. His dad- his dad couldn’t have found out. But- 

“Seungmin”, his father’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “Seungmin, what is this.” He sounded quiet, unbelieving. Seungmin knew what would happen now, there was no going back, no turning the situation around. No more hiding. He slowly approached the door to his room, his heart beating so loud, he could swear that his father could hear it as well. His Dad sat motionless on Seungmin’s bed, head bend to look at something in his hands. The polaroids. Seungmin couldn’t stop a gasp from leaving his throat as his assumptions confirmed itself. One last time, his father asked: “ What is this, Seungmin?” while turning the polaroids around so that his son could see them as well. At the thought of his dad finding them, seeing him hugging Hyunjin, and the boy kissing his cheek, Seungmin’s knees began to grow week and he had to steady himself, leaning one hand on the cupboard next to him. His father stood up. “What are you doing with this boy?” At this point, lying and telling his dad that Hyunjin was just a friend and affectionate was useless. His father interpreted the situation correctly and there was no way of convincing him otherwise. His dad staring at him, Seungmin tried to answer with an hoarse voice. “I’m just- He is-“ “Tell me the truth, son.”, his father interrupted him, spitting out the last word. “All this time I thought you two were friends. Your mum was so happy seeing you be able to get close that quickly. I guess you two got too close.” At this, his father closed his hand around the polaroids, as if he couldn’t bare to hold them anymore. “What are you doing with this boy?”, he asked again, but Seungmin had no answer.  
When his Dad saw that his son didn’t even try to explain himself, he knew that he was right. His eyes widened in disbelief and he seemed to wake up. The motionless behaviour gone, he ran his hands through his hair, walking up and down Seungmin’s room, while the boy still couldn’t to anything than just stand, legs trembling in fear of what was about to come. “Is this your boyfriend? The boy from next door? Are you dating him?”. His father’s voice grew louder and louder with every word and Seungmin felt the urge to make himself as tiny as possible. The moment he had tried to put off as long as possible had arrived and Seungmin had no idea what to do. He felt shame rushing through his body, making him feel insanely hot. He struggled to breath properly. 

The only thing he got out was: “I’m sorry, Dad.”, his voice as small as he felt. 

His father scoffed, unable to look at his son. “What have I done to deserve this. Why can’t my son be normal. Why are you like this?”. The last question directed to him felt like a slap in his face and Seungmin couldn’t hold himself anymore. He fell down to his knees, tears spilling over his face as he began to sob uncontrollably. 

“Dad- Dad, I didn’t want you to find out like this, but… I am gay.” 

The last words were almost inaudible but his father seemed to understand as he broke down as well. Seungmin has never seen his father cry before, the sight hitting him unexpectedly. “Gay?”, his father gasped, as if he had to think about the meaning of the word. “How could this happen? What have we done wrong?”, his father asked himself, trying to understand what his sons just told him.  
After a long second, he began to straighten up. “You are going to stop this behaviour. You are not going to see that boy again. Maybe it isn’t to late.” With that, he stood up again, regaining some hope. This felt like a stab into Seungmin’s stomach and he almost had to gag at the realization that his father will never accept him how he is. “Dad.”, he tried again. “Dad, you can’t fix this. I was always like this.”, he could feel the tears running down his face again and tried to stop his sobs with one hand. His Dad stood still. “I don’t want to hear you talk like this ever again. I will not have a gay son.”. When Seungmin didn’t react to him, his father shouted: “Stand up!” which only made Seungmin tremble more, unable to move. His Dad ran towards him, raising his hand as if he wanted to slap his son.  
Seungmin flinched and held his arms in front of his head, waiting for the pain, but nothing happened. When he dared to look up, he saw his father stand in front of him, panting loudly. He slowly lowered his hand, looking at it in disbelief of what he almost had done. “I don’t want to see you tonight. I don’t want to see you until you changed this.” With this, his father left the room, opening his left hand to release the photos between his fingers. Seungmin watched as the polaroids fell down to the floor, trying to straighten them when he saw how crumpled they were. He looked at Hyunjin’s happy face as he felt his tears running down his again. He grabbed his phone, opened the chat and simply wrote:

kim seungmin (8:54 pm): he found out


End file.
